San Andreas (2015) Review

San Andreas – Rated PG 13 – Reviewed June 1, 2015 – IMDb

What every disaster movie MUST HAVE:

1. Misunderstood Hero who is in the middle of a divorce, not because he still doesn’t love his wife, but because of personal tragedy that he cannot deal with that has nothing to do with the movie but also, coincidentally, is one of the .000001% of the people in the world with the necessary skills to save his family.
2. Hero’s Wife who has “moved on” although its obvious that she hasn’t but has now hooked up with a rich jerk.
3. Hero’s Daughter who, unlike most other teenagers, listened to everything her father has ever said so knows all about survival and emergency care. And also, in a weird piece of coincidence, winds up in the middle of the whole freaking mess and needs rescuing.
4. The Misunderstood Scientist who knew this was going to happen all along but nobody listened to.
5. The Rich Jerk who is now sleeping with the Hero’s hot wife and seems nice but will show their true nature soon enough
   
6. A Semi-Interesting Character that you know will die in the beginning of the film doing something heroic
   
7. A loose interpretation of what would really happen in a disaster
   
8. Oh yeah almost forgot, Random Little Kid that becomes part of the story through a very contrived story line you know will not die even though he should have about a dozen times. And is also the most interesting character into the movie. As sad as that is.